Well...
It's been about 1.5 months since I finished my thru hike and I feel as if my life hasn't progressed anywhere. In fact, I feel as if it's going backwards.. How is this possible?!
After returning home from Maine, I ended up living back home with my Mom, I came home to missing friends that moved away while I was gone; including friends that wrote me off of their lists since I was gone for so long, and I still have no job, despite several interviews that went well.. I even had two interviews for one position within a company!! In the meantime, I have resorted to miscellaneous tasks for money (detailing cars, painting houses, selling items on eBay, etc.). All while I'm trying to get back into the dating scene after being gone for 6 months.
It's hard for me to come back to all of these things. Why? When I was hiking the trail, I had so much freedom and accountability for myself. I was on my own. Whatever I wanted or needed, I made it happen. I was self-sufficient. But I wasn't living in a sustainable lifestyle -- things were so much simpler out there. And "real life" is anything but simple. It's hard to function in this so-called "real world" when you're at the mercy of so many "things" -- and there were far less of these "things" when I was hiking. It's tough.. I have owned my own business. I have hiked the entire Appalachian Trail. I have a Bachelor's degree from an accredited University under my belt. I have been at my *best* before. I am not at my best now. i.e. Employers don't care about when you're at your best. Do you have the two years of experience? Yes or no? No? (next).. For me, it's hard to put into words what lessons and experiences the trail taught me. There certainly was experience to be had on the AT. But employers have a difficult time understanding everything that hiking the AT entails and what you learn from doing it. In fact, most people have the wrong concept in the minds when they think of someone hiking for almost 6 months. No, I didn't "live off of the land." No, I wasn't "alone." And no, I'm not "insane."
In short, I am longing to start something new with my life.. Longing to start a career path so I can make the money necessary to have things that make me self-sufficient (again). I would like my own place, a decent car that was made in this decade and not the previous two, and perhaps some new, refreshing friends to throw into the mix.
Obviously, I'm in low point. But I had low points when I was on the trail. So what's different now? I suppose that when I was hiking, I had a clear cut goal. Maine. Katahdin. This journey. I knew that if I kept walking, I would get there. Now, I blindly send applications to companies and there is no gauge as to if I'm making progress or not.. I'm uncertain when the new life I'm longing for will come to fruition. If there's only one thing the trail taught me, it was to keep chipping away at the big goal; making smaller goals that would ultimately lead to the big picture. Even though I'm unsure of my current progress, I shall tell myself that progress is being made..
The world is a big place. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Answer: I'm not sure. Ugh.
